The House of The Rising Sun

billybreathes9 @ 2009-10-21T23:10:00

2009-10-22T04:18:48Z

In this falling of seasons I begin to recount the ways in which I have felt
upon all other falls.

gaze upon our smoky stacks of paper. Somewhere north they are burning volatile gas.
What a nice flame.

my naked head is drifting through ages.

I wonder what windows have done to myself.
bleeding cold air to fro in the air intaken within nostrils. in out, wooden flame, burning of all those fall victims.

hard to say what occurs when two human chargers converge. Perhaps I unleash my gust unto the waves.
take me catch the wind. Take me may catch the wind. breath in, exhale. feel our forced timeless breath.

till the wind moves on and drifts toward the fading sun

Jihad on Jihad

2009-10-09T07:02:25Z

I hope I never have to take part in a Navy Funeral.

Many people I love are in the Navy now.

South America should become the new Europe.

North Korea should collapse.

Arabs should accept Jews

Jews should accept Arabs

sure suicide bombing sounds nice with false religious backup
one must wonder.

Are christians better because we don't murder innocent people by the hundreds anymore?

Is America's greatest strength its worsts weakness?

as far as I am concerned Islam can suck the same dick as other world religions and just get the fuck over itself.

Escribiendo

2009-08-02T02:58:17Z

A little less than a year it has been since I last wandered these halls.
My My, how much can change in one year's time.
The last time we spoke was not so much a conversation, as a declaration.
Yet here I am with both hands around me ticking tock and fro.
Wait!
teach the heathens, Mouth the words, Bleed against the railway depot.

And from the Russian darkness came a spark which ignited the dead.
The Americas shifted decades, scores, whole centuries until I heard a woman
Singing songs surviving by tongue only.
Twas the Spanish infiltration.

?porque te entiendo? No puedo explicarlo. It simply is. just as I am
It has become. at the same time I was becoming. becoming. becoming. becoming.

Writer's Block: Crystal Ball

2009-08-02T02:39:15Z

All of August stretches before us today—what is your prediction for this month's weirdest or most unexpected news story?

View 481 Answers

"It is now being confirmed that Russia has sent naval fleets and missile aircraft over the Bering Strait into Alaska. American forces there are contending with the threat of hostile annex. It is not known whether the Russians will attempt to push further into Canada or assault the North-Western Coast of the U.S".

billybreathes9 @ 2008-10-23T21:51:00

2008-10-24T03:20:51Z

There is a strange force in my life.
It composes both a push to experience what is immediately around me,
and also a pull to smell the air of lands quite far away.

I've always wanted to travel, but what I sense now is more than mere travel.
There is a land, so far from us and yet so close.
An ancient land where once, princes ruled over the people of their vast kingdoms.
A language that is everything I could dream of finding in a foreign tongue.
Greek mixed with a boiling pot of other languages- essentially, an Eastern English.
This place has had a violent history with turbulent upheaval of power. Oppression, Cruelty, Backwards culture - And yet intermingled with Kindness, Hospitality, Sharing, Humor, and Iron-will of the mind.

I studied language. I still do.
But I studied Latin and loved it's sheer power. Yet it's time outweighs its fluency.
Greek - it's immortal meanings and simplicity; it's localized and obsolete outside the Balkans.
French - It is truly honey to the ear & pretty easy to learn, but too pretty a language to use effectively if not native.
German - Oh the fathers of English had an angry tongue, didn't they? Once again, love it for its sheer power and emotion. I don't like using it as much as other tongues.

Then we get to my breakthrough language. The one that encompasses the Beauty & poetic nature of French, the sense of sheer power & might of Latin, the grammatical simplicity of Greek, and the Extreme anger and emotion that German can bring out.
Русский
or Ruskee
also known as Russian.

I have this insatiable fire inside me for Russia.
The language itself tells a story. The culture is very far from what we Americans are used to.
Yet, from what I've read and spoken to people about, I identify more with Russian culture than with a lot of American ideals.
Not at all dissing on America; it's possibly one of the most liberating places to live.
But, there is something missing for me. I can't really place my finger on it, but I know it's there...or not there as the case may be.

So, teaching myself Russian for about 5-6 months now.
I plan on going through a short Teaching English as a Foreign Language certification class.
Then signing on with one of the many many academies in Western Russia that are desperate for people like me....
Native English speakers who want to live in Russia for a while.
They pay for everything, save personal things like souvenirs and whatnot. And it's good money for teaching my native language, and essentially integrating into Russian culture.

I tell some people that, and they say " ohhh, why RuSSia?? its cold and desolate...."

Well, yes, it is cold and I like that. and No, it's not desolate. In fact, quite the opposite.

Truth be told, I guess I have a bit of Otto von Bismarck in me.
"Keep allies with Russia, at all costs."
Russia is not a measly power collapsing inward anymore. They are assertive and (have always been) an expansionist nation. Our relations with them must be kept strong and civil and hopefully amicable. Truth be told, I would love to be an American diplomat in Russia. I would love to strive for that friendship between our two nations.

Either way, I'm going to Russia soon. It's a good thing Russian is my best foreign language.
It's a good thing that I actually have an achievable goal for my near future.
It should prove to be quite the journey...

-Габриел

Dining with the Yusipovs

2008-10-03T19:01:03Z

Upon the meeting of my eyelids,
Into my mind melts Vienna
Petersburg brings me back home

Waltzes of old in Palace and Court
With Crowns taking the floor.
Envision myself in a Hussar's suit
Fragments, Some Wander, ask "Voulez-Vous?",
Instead I drink with le Duc d'Anjou

Torches announce the row of carriages
Assembling beyond gardens along the Heldenplatz

And becomes apparent, Those times now lie in a dusty grave
And by no mortal means will the Hapsburgs nor the Romanovs again take a throne.

Inexplicably, this deeply saddens me.

I see, but I am deafened
I hear, yet I am blind
I scream while I am muted
I weave while I unwind

Oh..Gabe

2008-03-29T08:52:25Z

Yes, Jason Collett, I am still worried...
I have funny ways one saying what I mean

Feel of flying, drift off...

This song...so strange to be sung to completely about myself.
The name, it is mine, Gabe
the blood is in me as well.

Like no Son of Abraham,
I can step off the alter
For The Angel too, is watching his seat.

When Armies are to dust
and hatred is to ash
from the Earth shall rise the winged'
from the sky shall fall the wingless

Mortar

2008-03-17T05:52:58Z

Listening to a Latin boy's choir
playing multiple games of chess
Searching endlessly for contact
Such hunts end without appease

What solemn beauty do I seek
In which I am willing to sacrifice
All around me and my every chance of input

It is for the proof-less pleasures I hunt
For a piano partner to abuse keys with
And for an instant exchange of meaningful speech
amidst tireless banter of worthless charade

I see, but I am deafened
I hear, yet I am blind
I scream while I am muted
I weave while I unwind

billybreathes9 @ 2008-02-05T22:50:00

2008-02-06T04:50:12Z

http://world-of-dungeons.net/?link_eb_52836

billybreathes9 @ 2008-01-06T02:42:00

2008-01-06T08:56:56Z

Churning over, Thrashing bout
words in my ears swim
no new song, you sing
an old verse,
one I wrote myself

I favor glass when my shards are dull
And opt for ice when the weathers cold
I take my roads but where they lead me
Make friends with Anger, Ire, Scold

I'm not that caustic...
In fact, I feel the anti

What a hole I am in...
but I cant say I didn't dig it

"Meanwhile, A throne lay empty, eager for the taking..."

billybreathes9 @ 2007-12-24T23:31:00

2007-12-25T05:32:03Z

A Rose A Rose,
Dead Tomorrow
Rise again

For....Hope

2007-12-17T07:29:23Z

A shadow from the light shall bring
her ancient blood will sound
A lightning arc from darkness springs
The father yet is bound

Embracing then, the family heir,
Bloodkins mixed with blood-unknown
The kingdom shall again arise
Three sisters will but tell the tale
Each sharing, but a single eye.

Anathanatos

2007-12-08T04:35:18Z

The bones from my closet, slung across the room
I feel the color coming to the walls
in rich, a sunrise captioned by stone titans
ending with the churning sea of blue
who drowns those she loves deep as le blue

Thus so is my life now...
Upheaval.
Reconstruction
Definition

What tact do I obey?
the one I secretly whisper.
In realms of prey, I marvel and blood-lust
In realms of dire, I all but blood-let

bleed into my focus, a wound curing boredom.
And I shall make thee amongst gods.

stolen from Carona de Sh'mel

2007-12-05T03:18:23Z

*waiting for online game time to re-spawn*

1. you & your ex: wonderous

2. I am listening to: the voices of Kenya

3. Maybe I should: find another job

4. I love: chanting in ancient tounges

5. I don't understand: the true structure of Greek (yet)

6. I have lost my respect for: so many things

7. I last ate: Crustacean Creole'

8. The meaning of my display name is: multiple meanings belonging to songs on the album

9. God is: in all things. magic is in all things. the world we know and love and hate is all god and magic with a touch of human perspective.

-IS YOUR/ARE YOU-

1. Is your hair wet? not at all

2. Is your cell phone right near you? Ha, no, thank god.

3. Do you miss someone? yes, my brother.

4. Are you wearing chapstick? yes, I have a stigma

5. Are you tired? Non

6. Are you wearing pajamas? no, a fur coat

7. Are you mad? not at all

8. Are you single? the very essence of the word

HAVE YOU

1. Recently done anything you regret? yes...

2. Ever lied? Ha!

4. Have you ever kicked someone? yes, I would rather not explain

5. Ever tripped over your own feet? No, I have never tripped over my own feet, mainly because I float above the ground.

TODAY HAVE YOU:

1. Have you cursed? Yes, but only in French

2. Have you gotten mad at someone? Yes, the gym lady who wouldn't let me in at 2:50 when they open at 3:00

3. Who?..

RANDOM

Q: Is there a person who is on your mind right now?
A: strangely enough, no.

Q: Do you have any siblings?
A: yes, Fratris Mei

Q: Do you want children?
A: yes, at least two

Q: Do you smile often?
A: not really smile, more so I smirk and sneer quite often.

Q: Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off?
A: probably not, assuming I wore shoes

Q: Do you like your handwriting?
A: I fell in love with it long ago

Q: Are your toenails painted?
A: Nyet

Q: Who's bed other than yours would you rather sleep in?
A: No one's, Mine has always been the most comfortable.

Q: what color shirt are you wearing right now?
A: Light Noir

Q: What were you doing at 7pm yesterday?
A: Kicking the shit out of Jeopardy.

Q: I can't wait til:
A: I find a job worth working.

Q: What would you rather be called?
A: Monsieur G'vriel

Q:Do you like someone?
A: only if they are worth talking to

Q: Are you a friendly person?
A: mostly; sometimes not at all.

Q: Do you have any pets?
A: The family line of my felines goes almost 5 generations. At one time, I had 10 under the same roof; now, I only have my Ciao baby, Klausse(us) Augustus, and their grandfather, Boomer.

Q: Ever cried on your friend's shoulder?
A: yes

Q: What makes you happy?
A: lights, stars, wilderness, alone in wilderness, mountains, maps, LANGUAGE, Latin hymns, songs in other tongues, gypsy music, my violin, reading, travel, old and rare books, history, laughter, good friends, good wine(in combination), malevolent poetic themes, sand, but at one time only love made me happy. Love comes en variety....oh yes, and quill and ink.

Q:Do you give attitudes?
A: Apparently so, yet mine are not so much impudence as momentary loathing.

Q:Can you cook?
A: Every night, I whip up storms.

Q:Can you speak another language?
A: Well, fluently, I speak English. I know a good bit of Latin and Greek(my latin is better than my Greek). I am working on French and Spanish. I partially gave up hope of Russian because in this time and era, I could do so much more than learn Rusci. However, I can fluently read all of the above.

wow. what...ah pfeu, nevermind

Lost at Sea

2007-11-30T02:59:00Z

Lying still, no movement whatsoever. Eyes unfocused, nothing viewed is seen.
Where the small table lamp shines, I'm accepting my Eagle award
The television displays not a gray field, but my first kiss
The story of my 19 years retelling itself in flashes of recall
I am not afraid
The people I've loved
The ones who love me for me
The goals and aspirations I have set out on.
I am not afraid
I only quest for more

Where did I go?
With what impetus did I shoot off my own course?
I look back on where I've been,
what I've seen, what I've felt.
Looking for some inkling of a clue as to what truly makes me happy.
Where was I most alive?
Was it sitting on a rock in the forests of summer Tennessee,
Was it floating down a chilled river
Was it all in nature?
Or did I ever once extract true happiness from my everyday surroundings?
Thus is the question ailing me for such a time.
There was a definite drop off point in my satisfaction,
where was it and how did I miss such a crucial omen?

Such a question is not as painful as the realizations it conjures.

Upon what rock may I now sit and feel such completeness?
What waters may now replenish my spirit?
If such a crux of my being is missing, how do I go about grasping it back again?

I now have more faith in God than I did when I went to Christian school and went to church. I guess reality has shown me both horrible and blessed things, thus making me a more religious person.
Life is funny in that way.

All of this does not mean I take no pleasure out my life, nor that I find no joy.
But my passions have taken on more limitations than thought stable.
I love my music, but I can only play at certain times
I love writing, but as of late, I have nothing to write about
I am a fool for classical history and studies. that has only evolved and grown stronger
I love adventuring, however; there are only so many things immediately available
I simply love to love, but even that I have found so trying recently.

Aeolus! Send me winds of change! And may they come on swift wings!

hello?

2007-10-17T00:52:19Z

Die now, with the cigarette still between your fingers.
You don't even wake to feel the ember burning your rigid grasp.

billybreathes9 @ 2007-10-03T22:21:00

2007-10-04T04:07:31Z

I can recall a time, an era if you will, when my strongest feelings were extroverted.
I remember love and how it intoxicated me.
I remember the sensation of falling
and not caring where I landed.

I have cared for so many people
Lovers
Best-Friends
Mothers
Brothers
and the like.

I remember when I loved with blind conviction,
when I would have given everything
yet, those days have met their crescendo, I fear

I looked Love in the eyes, and totally walked right over her.

billybreathes9 @ 2007-09-16T12:17:00

2007-09-16T17:27:23Z

Oh, how the wine is sweet again.
I knew this would happen, I've been awaiting the return of my soul.
The Fall is upon us!
Harvest is here, and that ALWAYS puts me in a splendid mood.
I can feel the air getting crisper, colder, better, stronger.

I love this

Sun-Virgo
Moon-Libra
Mercury-Virgo
Venus- Cancer
Mars-Taurus
Saturn-Leo
Jupiter-Ophiucchus
Pluto-Serpens

billybreathes9 @ 2007-08-17T13:06:00

2007-08-17T18:51:00Z

I look to the mirror, hoping to glimpse the pieces I lost so long ago
The flaming ardors I clung to
Glowing embers, now gasping for breath.

In what land, which kingdom, did they hide?
The answer appears clearly, but with a foggy vague.
I spent so much time, in my younger years, trying to unearth the ghosts in my soul
and only now have I begun to see them eye-to-eye.

I used to think my dreams were insightful. Indeed, they were at the time.
As it turns out, the visages I met in those journeys were but puppets. Actors masking the true inhabitants.

I never understood how I could be different people in my dreams.
I could be a malevolent destroyer.
A Saint, A Martyr!

-Then, I began to break open the shackles chaining up my true being.
I melted my reality. I thrust my head into hell just to have a peak, to free the ghosts, sought what I seek.

And it will take some time, but when I finish documenting it,
ην σκοτουσ,Φωσ

Ego Sum

2007-06-20T00:55:22Z

"Someone thinks you're cute and sends out an unmistakable signal. What do you do? Well, if you're interested, you send something right back -- then sit and wait. A little mystery can only add fuel to the fire".

My horoscope

So true, so real

How did I meet you?
You were a green-horn
I taught you the modus operandi
You didn't need much, for you were well trained
Your body is fit and finely shaven
I jubilate in your boyish nature
what did you first say?
Either way, it was the best phrase I ever saw you utter, except for..

Where did you come from?
Where are you going?
Where can I find you?
and Goodnight.

Tu Scire Volo, Cupio Tu Tangere

billybreathes9 @ 2007-05-14T23:06:00

2007-05-15T04:08:12Z

Sometimes, I'm so afraid to close my eyes
For the things I see, They're worse than death

billybreathes9 @ 2007-05-06T16:30:00

2007-05-06T21:37:18Z

I can sit here and rearrange my belongings in my bedroom
I can smoke a pack of camels
I can even watch the daylight surely ebb away
Twice every week, I get to be free from rushing to accomplish things before three o'clock
Those two days are my sacred refuge, my sunsets and mine alone

However, I cant stop that fleeting feeling,
the feeling of time passing before me, as shore-sand under the waves.
On the grand scale, in moments, I will be an old man
and my body will fall apart
and senility will set it
and all I can hope for is that my fire never ceases to burn
I fear not death, but meaninglessness.
"Give up the ghost, kid"

billybreathes9 @ 2007-04-23T21:27:00

2007-04-24T02:35:32Z

Is it any wonder that I feel this way? Can it be helped? Is it strange that I suddenly see my ambitions and goals, without ever seeing them at all? Is it frightening to think that I've developed ways of leaving myself and becoming other people? They call it "method acting". Is it eerie to wonder what it would be like? I bet you have, and I imagine it hurts everyday that you find yourself unable to break from your petty cast mold.

Ive died before, many times. Ive done all sorts of things
Dying though seems to be the most comical.
I've seen them hurt
I've seen them suffer from it
but I've never seen any sort of resolution
The only answer is quite painful
but not as much as the question

What difference do you think it makes?
What joy is derived from it?
Where do we stop hurting others and start, ourselves?

billybreathes9 @ 2007-04-04T01:31:00

2007-04-04T06:35:40Z

The guidelines for all of these essays I'm having to write
are completely egocentric
and I thought I'd enjoy writing about myself so much
However, I am not, not at all
In fact, It's begun to make me question whether or not I made it all up.

I'd rather angry poetry towards mankind.
Atleast that can rhyme and offend certain secular groups

billybreathes9 @ 2007-03-27T23:59:00

2007-03-28T05:00:37Z

I can feel my pulse in my thumb, even through the cigarette resting upon it.
Is that not Astounding??!!